''Did I make it late?''

Today as she took the small white box holding her 'kajal' , she was reminded of her mother's words:''You shouldn't wear kajal on your birthday..it's inauspicious...light the 'diya' in the prayer room and come, i have made your favorite 'payasam'''...a smile escaped her lips...her mother's memories always brought back that innocent smile of a little girl on her face...memories that brought along with it the fragrance of sandalwood and camphor...She couldn't remember her mother without that streak of sandalwood paste on her forehead which she dutifully wears after doing her morning pooja..Her mother was always a vision in white 'set mundu' with a thin border of golden thread and the fragrance of camphor that she always placed amongst her clothes in the cupboard.

Birthdays were something she always looked out for most as a kid...not because she expected to be showered with expensive gifts or to be pampered, but for the " rice payasam'' that her mom makes exclusively for her and also for being taken to the 'cinema' by her father, which in itself was a big thing. She used to spend days before her birthday trying to pick the perfect dress she would wear that day....Life was indeed simple then- simple and quite beautiful.

Today marks her 45th birthday.She placed the kajal box back on her dressing table..She thought about what to cook for breakfast before leaving for office...It's going to be a pretty busy day there , this being the month end and the targets assigned are nowhere near completion...Forget about the 'payasam',she just hoped she would get enough time to have something for lunch.
Somehow birthdays always seemed to remind her how much she missed her mother...her childhood..those days of playful harmless carelessness...

The clock struck 7. She made her way to the kitchen .She could hear her husband washing the car.She remembered finding half hidden birthday cards and surprise gifts during the first years of their marriage..It now felt like a whole different era..Somehow, her memories seemed divided into just two - the time before being a mother and after being one...And for some reason, she felt old....May be life wasn't supposed to be always that exciting with candle light dinners and weekend vacations ,she laughed at the future she pictured herself to be in some 20 years back....

Clock struck 8..she watched her husband have his breakfast.He had an early meeting that day. Having hurriedly finished his food, he rose from his seat, grabbed his bag and rushed out towards his car.A minute later she saw him walking in ..."He must have forgotten to take his car keys in his hurry as always" , she thought ....But she was surprised to see him walking in with the keys in his hand..."Did he misplace a file or anything?", she worried..she knew how he hated to be late for office,it spoils his entire day.

He came towards her, planted a kiss on her cheek and said ''Happy b'day dear....I love you...did I make it late?"...''Its perfect'',she replied with the same innocent smile back on her face.....She watched him walk towards the door ..He stopped at the doorstep and turned to look at her - ''Lets go for a movie tonight and then maybe we can dine out...would you like that?"".Looking at her then ,he didn't need her answer to know how she felt...it was right there on her face ....She stood there ..her heart filled with love for the man who she loved to the core.

Life was indeed not all about candlelight dinners or weekend vacations, it was much more than that.. it is about the incomparable joy hidden in that single cup of coffee you share with the one you love ...it's about the miles you walk together , both exhausted and you see him looking at you and asking ''are you ok?''...it's about those messages from him that pops up on ur mobile reading ''i miss u"...and it's also about a simple birthday wish in earnest from him with a mild concern in his eyes as he asks ''did i make it late?''.....she knew that she would never forget those words...Yes, life is indeed beautiful...It's true she did miss her mother's love, her caresses..but wasn't it love that in a changed form that had just filled her heart a while back?....And she was never more sure and happy about choosing HIM because if there was anyone with whom she would want to grow old , share the good and bad times and who would make her feel as the most beautiful women in this world even when she turns 90..she knew its him and only him..